“I‘m lost. I‘m very confused. And Nikki has nothing to do with it. I need to try to find what was making me happy before. Who was I,” Billy Crawford told Boy Abunda on “The Buzz” regarding his break-up with Nikki Gil. Some televiewers perceived Billy’s statements as someone who is having an identity crisis. Is he gay?
Read the full transcript of the exclusive interview with Billy Crawford by “The Buzz” host Boy Abunda on Sunday, July 28, 2013:
Boy: Naghiwalay na nga ba kayo ni Nikki Gil? Tell me what you can.
Billy: Nawawala ako. I’m very lost, very confused.
Walang kinalaman si Nikki. It all boils down to me. It’s an
indescribable feeling, it’s like all these negativity, confusions, the
sadness, the hurt… Nikki has not been anything apart from good to me.
Everything I said there a while ago, you know, she is a dream come true
when it comes to finding the right one. Pero it’s hard to find the right
one kung ikaw mismo, you’re not right. And it’s been a while, it’s been
a while I’ve been… I don’t know who to blame. It’s been a while I’m
back at being myself. Dahil lahat ng tao kasi nakikita nila ako
masayahin, matulungin. I tried to do everything I can for everyone to be
happy, especially the people around me; the people that I love. And I
forgot what makes me happy; I forgot who I am. I don’t know what I’m
doing cuz all I know what to do is to work. It’s been almost 26 years
I’m in this industry. I’ve been everywhere and this is the first time
I’ve ever felt this way. That’s why I ask everyone, do not blame Nikki.
She has no fault. I’m not a perfect guy; I’m not a perfect person. I’ve
done some things in my life then that I regret and she supported me, she
understood. She was there. But I tend to go home by myself. It’s so
simple kasi to go around with friends and to enjoy and forget about the
problems, whatever you’re going through. Especially kung may naririnig
kang problema na pinagdadaanan ng mga kaibigan mo. Sobrang daling
makalimutan kung ano ‘yung problema. Nakalimutan ko I’m the one who’s
completely lost and I’m searching. I asked her this, you know, give me
that chance to find myself cuz it’s very difficult.